An Angry Man in my Home

I haven’t written anything in what feels like years. I’m burned out and uninspired – my worst nightmare. I think I’ve accidentally sacrificed my creativity, peace, wonder, and happiness for this life of success. I’m trying to find those parts in me but it’s dark inside. I look in the mirror and I started to see my father and it reminded me of that quote by Cathrine Lacey, “if you’re raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house.” I live with a sweet, loving man which makes me the angry man inside my home. I am my father’s anger and I am my mother’s sadness. I think it will always be this way for me. I tried to be different. I made myself seem special but I am only a person, limited to one thing or the other and how fucked I chose money and success overall. I don’t even have money or success yet but my happiness is fleeting the closer I get. I may not be able to balance money with happiness but I will martyr myself so that others after me can. I may die hollow, but it’s worth it if I help other achieve it. For now, I am tired but I must go on. I will always go on until I am swallowed by the earth. I am resilient but I’d rather be soft. Now I have sharp fangs and a rabid tongue – just like my father and probably his father before him. I’ve traded in bows and manicured nails for poison and claws. I saw society turned me into a beast, maybe it was nature that made me this way, or worse, I did it to myself. When you take away the dreams of a dreamer and the love out of a lover, all that is left is a shell of a person. A vacant shell that once held life. My shell is not empty just yet, it houses an angry man that’s angry at THE man. The only good thing I can do with this angry man inside of my house, is use him towards the ones who set society up this way. I was once my father’s worse nightmare; I will become a nightmare to ALL angry men in the homes of little girls.

coming soon

coming soon